Sunday, April 18, 2010

Temper Tantrums!!!!

Someone please tell me that taking temper tantrums every time my 11 month old son wants something or any time I take something away from him is a short lived phase!!!  I have been very lucky that up until this point Ewan has been a very happy and easy going baby - so this is a big change to having to deal with all of this frustration and intense screaming from him.

For the past week, these tantrums seem to be happening all day long. I can handle a two year old tantrum - talking it out or having the child take a break to recollect is often all that is needed. But there is no reasoning with an 11 month old! My only tool seems to be distraction. I am trying not to give in when he screams for something so that we do not give him the impression that screaming will result in him getting his way, although my husband is having more difficulty with this. Does anyone have any other tips?

In other news, Ewan prefers to only stand up now - so we are thinking that he may skip the whole crawling stage all together. Maybe when he becomes mobile it will ease some of his frustrations...or maybe it will increase his frustration as I will end up only taking more things away from him!

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Have a wonderful week - and wish me luck with these tantrums!


  1. I say give up on him. Lost cause. First, he was expelled from play classes and now he has been indefinitely suspended from nursery school. I think we've done all we can for him and still his behavior doesn't change. I'll take him to the store this weekend and see if they'll exchange him for a quieter one with manners.

  2. HA HA HA!! LOL Good luck with that!! LOL! I think that the "distraction" technique is the best least it works for us...although with Keira, she learned really quick what we were doing and remembered exactly what got her upset in the first place so we are always trying to figure out what works with her and it seems, usually she needs quiet time...distraction is just that..a temporary fix...but that's just with Keira. Aiden is very easygoing but can have a meltdown with the best of them...he does well with distraction and bounces back quickly. Seaver is 9 months now and has just discovered that if he screams or cries that he gets our attention so we redirect him as well and it's working so far...(key far!! LOL)
    The most important thing we learned with Keira is that you need to keep a united front no matter what. It may help to decide what your distraction will be should he have a tantrum so that when it happens, you know where to redirect him rather than try and figure out what to do while he's screaming...because usually when a tantrum hits, your caught off guard and lose your train of thought. This phase might pass but I'm sure as you know...another phase shall come.....(I knew about the "terrible twos" but it would have helped had I known about the "funky fours"!!! LOL Good luck!!

  3. Ugh. I feel your pain. Jesse is going through the same stage, and I just want to sit him down and lecture him on his childish ways. HA. When I need to take something away from him, I always try to bring something to "trade" with him, and sometimes that works, or lessens the freak outs. Other times, it makes No difference, and I just wait for the fit to blow over... Good times....

  4. Haha, Miles started having tantrums out of nowhere around the same time. They are under control now that he is 16 months, but he reserves them for special times (like when we go inside and he feels like we haven't played outside enough.) For Miles, I just stopped giving him any sort of attention when he started flipping out, and it really helped. He would cry for a couple of minutes, look around and see me not paying attention, get up and start playing with something else - like nothing happened. What a kid.

  5. LOL, thank you for the comments! I have continued with the distraction or if he is too upset, just not giving him any attention and he does calm down usually within a minute or two and finds something else to play with all by himself. Glad to know I am not alone!

  6. Hi Lindsay - I know this comment is late and hopefully by now, things have calmed down a bit :) As you may recall, Tyler was the king of tantrums! I was going crazy, blaming myself for every one of his breakdowns. After some research, I discovered this technique that I found helpful and I think has worked much better with Connor. First, we named their tantrums "The Uglies". This really helped us both de-personalize the behavior and also for the boys to recognize it as unacceptable. I now stay calm and simply tell the boys that I will not be speaking to them as long as they have the uglies. It has gotten to the point now that when I tell Connor that he needs to get rid of those uglies, he often puts himself in his own room for a while and comes back downstairs when he's ready - without prompting. At a year old, quiet time (a modified time out) or distraction are still your best options, and naming the behaviour could help Ewen in the future to identify his feelings and remember the coping skills you are now teaching him. That's my two cents :) Hope this helps!

    PS Tyler has not had a tantrum in a very long time, so even the most challenging kids eventually grow out of this phase! lol